Scars

Sometimes I wonder
if scars are attached only to me
but not to everyone
and why do scars feel exceptionally excruciating
that it just suffocates
every touch of my breath

and the scars that were left by your loved ones
felt torturing
they made you lonely
they made you empty
even when you were surrounded
by a lively fence

they just made you lonely
and broke your heart into pieces
till you were puzzled
which piece should you follow?

Bragging on my awards and birthday gifts

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

It took me quite some time to actually write about these awards I got during MJB (previous entry). I kind of wanted to make a post about them, but I was not really on a bragging mode at that time. Well, for me this is not really something great to be bragged about, but I feel like I should have made an appreciation post on the awards and gifts that I received in April and May this year.

First thing first, let's just talk about my birthday gifts. I'm not the kind of person who actually gets hype up on her birthday. It's because I'm at the age where I'm hoping to stop getting older and stuffs. I realized I'm aging when I turned into my 20s and I missed my teen years so much. So it's not really something exciting knowing that you're getting older every year. But of course, I really appreciate my birthday since I knew it was an important day to me and my parents, for giving me a life in this world. It also feels kind of good having friends that give you presents on your birthday, since it's probably the only time people will give me presents. This reminds me to appreciate my mum because she's the only person that will buy things for me everytime. And I also kind of reminded by some friends who actually did give me presents not because of my birthday, but when they feel like they want to. I just realized how blessed I am suddenly when writing this post. Thanks Maryam for giving me chocolate and letter of encouragement when I was having a hard time. And thanks to my friends who treated me for meal, cinemas and stuffs. I just realized that I am actually being blessed.

Anyway, my first appreciation post goes to my girl friends Syara, Ika, Aishah, Wani for getting me chocolates on my birthday. They passed it through Diba because we rarely have classes together. I did not really expecting any gifts for my birthday because it had been a busy week but gifts like this makes you feel that you are being appreciated and someone actually remembers your birthday. Thanks girls.

A big appreciation to my girls Fatimah, Arina and Izzati also for getting me a Secret Recipe cake and my favourite chocolate indulgence on top of that. Last year was from The Kapits and this year from Secret Recipe. I'm blessed. Sorry for not spending my birthday with you guys. I'm quite regretting it till this day. 

On top of that, they made my MPD team wrote some birthday wishes for me. I can imagine how Timah forced the people to write. Haha. There are many wishes written for me but I think I'm just going to show one of the longest wish written, from Timah. "Such a blessing to have one great leader like you" is what she wrote and I know for a fact she always meant what she said. It is such a blessing to have people like you guys too that supported every of my decisions. 

They also bought me a stuffed bear as you can see at the back of all the gifts. I can still remember the awkwardness on their faces and Arina's when passing me the paper bag containing the gift. They are bad at surprising people, but I like the cute effort they made. I should have shown better reaction at that time when receiving their gifts. Thanks girls. I'm moving on to the next one since talking about you guys will never be enough in a single entry. 

Let me share what I got during MJB. One of the awards is entitled Anugerah Tertinggi Penggawa Individu which is usually given to the Yang Dipertua every year. It's my second time receiving it. I'm not really sure if I deserved the award but if the management trusted me then I guess I do deserve it? It's not an easy task being the leader for the second time. The pressure was real. Maybe I'll write about them one day, after I officially leave my YDP position. I'm still being cautious of every single thing I write or say regarding my organization because there are too many people that look up to me. I can be at ease after I become a 'mantan' later. Haha.

Next is the Anugerah Khas Majlis Tertinggi. Timah and I fought quite a lot about the design of the plague since we were the one in charged of them. I don't really care much about getting awards, but my girl friends were very hyped up on getting the best ones. I actually have planned way earlier since the beginning of the year to get them those awards because I knew they deserved it. I was just opposing the idea of getting something over the budget because I was quite picky on what we're using our money for. We somehow managed to solve the issue and received this plague during MJB.

I also received the title the Queen of the Night as you can read in my previous post. I received this set of Nivea products. This is the most valuable gift I received. You know how cosmetic products can be expensive, right? I have started using only the Nivea toner for now since my current products are still in use. I wanted to give the Nivea products to my family but for some reasons they did not want it. Now I'm just keeping them for future use. I also got a bouquet of chocholate and crown for the queen. 

Anyway, keeping things short, I want to express my gratitude for the person responsible behind all my gifts, awards and presents. It's not a big thing to brag about, but I appreciate every single one of them. I hope I can do better in future, receiving more awards to make my parents proud. Though I'm not sure when I can actually get another award again in my life. 

Thanks for reading this post and do wait for my next update on life!

Malam Junjungan Budi 2019

So yeah I've just decided to share some photos from our dinner in May recently. Well I guess it's not too recent since it's already July. Our organization carries out this event annually, and it's an honour for me, being able to attend the dinner again this year. We tried proposing an idea of having the dinner outside Penang but for some reason, we weren't allowed to do that. I guess it does not really matter as long as we have a nice and affordable venue in Penang.

Our dinner this year took place in Berjaya Hotel, Georgetown. What made this dinner more special this year is having my best friends attending the event. I somehow managed to persuade them into joining. You know it's different having your friends around supporting your event. I requested not to sit at the VIP's table again this year, but of course it is a waste of me for hoping that. I hope I could attend to my friends better and have a nice chat, and just adding food outrageously. You know it's different than sitting at the VIP's table. Well I'm not really opposing that idea since it's a good thing chatting with Tuan Haji Zain's family and my seniors. But being a host is not really something I look forward to do on my last dinner in university. I was imagining something else, but it's okay. I had fun being treated as a VIP, so it's okay. 

The theme for our dinner this year is black and white, which is something common. But I have no objections since it's the vote of the majority and I know suggesting cosplay or animation dinner will never win the majority votes. I wore white outfit during last year's MJB and so I'm going with black and white this time because wearing all black is too common. I was kind of embarrassed actually wearing my outfit this year (you can see in the photos), but I was lately into the K-drama Touch Your Heart around that time. I found the lawyer character Mr.Choi's fashion wearing his coat on top of his shoulders is quite stylish so I wanted to try that out. I'm just trying out things for fun. Somehow, I ended winning the Queen of the Night for two years in row. I looked back at my pictures and was like "Were you serious wearing that outfit?" But then in life, being ordinary won't bring you anywhere, right? Haha.

Of course, everyone was amazing that night. For me personally, I loved Amieanna's dress the most. I heard her brother's friend was responsible in making that dress. What a lucky girl. I was quite disappointed with those who doesn't actually follow the theme and add on their own colour. I mean, it's black and white, once in a year guys. Come on. One of the other things that I quite regret is not being able to eat much since I'm hosting the guests and trying to make time to chat with others. 

It's a great thing watching your juniors receiving awards during that time. I can look at them and be like, "I've been there before." I knew the feeling of being awarded. It felt like your hard work actually paid off. The emcees of the night were also doing good jobs. I missed the days when I used to be the emcee all the time. I guess being at the top position kind of hindering me doing normal jobs. 

Anyway, MJB this year was a success. My juniors, the project director, the team, everyone is doing the best. However, I'm still looking forward for a dinner that allows you to wear cosplay one day. I think it's going to be cute.

Foods available during the night

Hungry yet?

Look at all the prizes

Look at all the attention we got, walking on the red carpet

It's funny how I made a speech with no hands

The VIPs

I don't even remember how many types of food they served

The way Izz looks at me

Lucky draw session

I can't even remember how many times he said thanks when we were the ones who should thanked him

My girls, couldn't have done it without them

I think we look cute in this photo

Full outfit of the night

Did I rock this look or did I mess it? Let me know what you think

Somerzzz