2020 Reflection

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Assalamualaikum. So I’m back to my annual review of how the previous year went for me. Alhamdulillah, 2020 was a blessing to be honest. I’m not trying to be positive whatsoever, or maybe I am? But I always believe in good things out of everything that happened to me in life. So yeah, a summary of what happened last year. I think, I learned a lot in 2020. I learned a huge a lesson in my life, which somehow turned me into a better person. But of course I will just leave it to that.

At the beginning of 2020, I was still in Germany, having my exams and just trying to spend more winter time in Germany. It was a bit tough because I was kinda broke, but I still wanted to travel. Somehow Allah still blessed me, eased my way and showed me some parts of world that were totally amazing. Germany was a huge blessing to my life, and I wouldn’t regret getting into USM and took the International Business major because hey, I got a life-changing experience out of it.

I do not know how to exactly describe how Germany changed my points of view in life, but trust me it did. It turned me into a more open-minded person than who I was before. It’s a bit subjective so I don’t know if my circle of family and friends will even notice any changes. Anyway, I hate the fact that I scored better grades when I wasn’t really focused on studying. My exchange semester exams were the highest grades that I scored compared to my previous semester grades in USM. Alhamdulillah, but it’s so weird for me. Or probably because the subjects were bit easier than the previous ones. Anyway, I was definitely not getting the dean or anything. 

I mean, I know I’m smart but I chose lots of wrong courses along my university journey because I didn’t bother to research them first. I’m the kind of person that just dive without thinking sometimes so the lesson I learned here is please… don’t do that when it comes to your studies! Haha. It’s a bit frustrating knowing that you had the opportunity to do better, but you didn’t. However, it wasn’t that big of a frustration for me because I might just turn out to be a snobbish girl if I’m excellent in my studies. So knowing that I did not really excel in my studies puts me in a humble place now. If that makes sense. I don’t know why I’m explaining this but do you also always thought of the positive outcome out of everything happened in your life? Well, I am that kind of person. 

Back to the story, I was enjoying my final moments in Germany, partying and stuff. And the COVID-19 case in Germany was really low at that moment. I think it was less than 10 cases? After I bid farewell to my friends, alhamdulillah I came back to Malaysia on the day that we don’t have a Prime Minister and a government, it was on the 28th of February 2020. A week after my arrival, I started my internship semester here in Malaysia. I wouldn’t say my internship as the best moments of my life because there were times when I had to just work from home and basically me just adapting in making sales. I learned new things of course, but I still hope that they could actually pay me better monthly because I really need money after I came back to Malaysia. Haha. 

Anyway, the good part was I met lots of new friends in that company and they were really kind. I heard stories that you won’t always be meeting kind colleagues in your life so I felt blessed. So making the story short, I finished my internship at the end of July and I finally ended my whole 4 years of Degree as well. It felt weird how time flies so fast. And alhamdulillah before I even finished my internship, I got my job offer in June. The job isn’t related to my studies but it is something that I know I want to try, so why not? I accepted the offer and started working in the capital city as soon as I finished my internship. 

I moved into a new apartment room, I started paying for my own rent, bills, insurance, zakat, food, skincare, household suppliances and other stuffs. And you know the cost of living in KL, it is definitely high. But that is my way to move on to my next stage of life. I didn’t want to waste any time. I enjoyed so much in Germany. That was enough for a while, I thought I needed to get back to the reality and earn money that I spent in Europe. I mean, you gotta be responsible for your actions, right? Haha. It’s a bit struggling when it comes to financial stuff, but trust me, if you do kindness, you believe in blessings, Allah will definitely ease your life. Money comes to me from different sources even if it’s not much, it does help. I know there are people who believe in hardwork instead of luck, well that is true. But you know, I believe that blessing is another form of hardwork as well. 

Basically, 2020 was the year of me trying to be independent. And trust me, I love the vibe I’m giving to myself. My circle of people was getting lesser than ever, partly because of the pandemic, but hey, those who stay, stay. I was trying to focus on my self-discovery and my self-improvement. And that means I kinda put less efforts in prioritizing others. It might sound a bit selfish but last year made me feel better about myself, made me realize more about my values, my potentials, and my worth. I know which areas I need to improve, which will be a bit challenging but I’m looking forward to it. In summary, I really feel good about myself. I know I always appreciate myself, but something about 2020 made me realize more of my self-values. 

People can say anything they want about your life, but as long as you feel happy with how you are living your life, that is what matters the most. However, it is still important not to be too content with your current state. Of course, I will try to do better, but I’m just a girl that loves having my own fun such as watching anime, Kdramas and stuffs. We only live once, so why being so serious right? 

24 and 2020 were a good combination. This year, I’m turning 25 in another few months. I’m expecting some good things as well for this year. Well maybe things can get rough but that’s the bittersweet of life, right?